Friday, July 16, 2010

I Hate This Song

I have to get this off my chest. That song by Lady Gaga, "Just Dance"...I hate it. I absolutely hate it. And you know why? It's the damn lyrics.

I've had a little bit too much, much
All of the people start to rush, start to rush by
How does he twist the dance? Can't find a drink, oh man
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone

What's going on on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can?t remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

So this broad's hammered off her ass, she's losing her belongings and she doesn't know where she is. But as long as she's dancing, everything will be okay? I'm sorry, but the outright irresponsibility of the song is KILLING ME. And yes, I know it's just a song, but the fact that Gaga's singing what she's singing just really bugs me. It makes me wonder if I'm becoming a prude or something.



And you know those rumors about Gaga being a hermaphrodite? Well, the more I hear this song on the radio (unless I'm changing the station when it comes on), the more I started thinking about those rumors. So, I rewrote the lyrics to this song.

RedOne, Konvict
GaGa, oh-oh, eh

I've shown a little bit too much, much
All of the people start to guess, start to guess on
“Where does she shop for pants? Is she really a man?
Does she have a bone, bone?”

What's going on, on down below?
I love this drama baby but am I really straight anymore?
Keep it cool, maybe I’m really a dude.
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

My pants, gonna have to guess, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, play that guessin game, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, gonna be okay, p-p-p-pants
Pants, pants, my, m-m-my pants

Wish I could strut my playboy stuff, oh oh oh-oh
Could I turn myself inside out? Inside outright
Watchin’ my hormones babe, roses have thorns they say
And if you’re lucky, you’ll get pricked tonight, oh oh oh-oh

What's going on on down below?
I love this drama baby but am I really straight anymore?
Keep it cool, maybe I’m really a dude.
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

My pants, gonna have to guess, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, play that guessin game, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, gonna be okay, p-p-p-pants
Pants, pants, my, m-m-my pants

When I come through on the dance floor checkin' out that catalog,
Can't believe my eyes, so many women without a flaw,
Even the full-on boys with pretty eyes like Adam Lambert catch me lookin’.
Gaga, you got me wondrin’ before I try to hit that, what’s between them legs?

Shawty I can see that you got too much energy,
The way you're workin’ them hips up against me.
But now there's two reasons why you ain’t leavin’ here with me.
If you got balls I don’t wanna be your catcher now.

My pants, gonna have to guess, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, play that guessin game, wha’, what’s in themmm?

My pants, gonna have to guess, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, play that guessin game, wha’, what’s in themmm?
My pants, gonna be okay, p-p-p-pants
Pants, pants, my, m-m-my pants

Woo! Let's go!
Half a chick, sick, hypnotic
Got no implants, it's hormones
Half a man, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint testiculars

Half a chick, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint, it's hormones
Half a man, sick, hypnotic
Got my blueprint testiculars

Go! Take my muscle, whip it out, work it, hustle
I got it, just stay close enough if you want it.
Go slow! Drive it, clean it, lights out, bleed it
Testosterone
(I got it)
Ragin’ through me
(I got it)

My pants, gonna have to guess, wha’, what’s in themmm
My pants, play that guessin game, wha’, what’s in themmm

My pants, gonna have to guess, wha’, what’s in themmm
My pants, play that guessin game, wha’, what’s in themmm
My pants, gonna be okay, p-p-p-pants
Pants, pants, my, m-m-my pants

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