Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I, Too, Hate the Daleks

Like Doctor Who, I've decided I, too, hate the Daleks.

"Within the series, Daleks are cyborgs from the planet Skaro, created by the scientist Davros during the final years of a thousand-year war against the Thals. They are mutated Kaleds integrated within a tank-like or robot-like mechanical casing. The resulting creatures are a powerful race bent on universal conquest and domination, utterly without pity, compassion or remorse. Various storylines portray them as having had every emotion removed except hate, leaving them with a desire to purge the Universe of all non-Dalek life. Occasionally they are shown as experiencing other emotions, primarily fear, although such occurrences are rare. Collectively they are the greatest enemies of the series' protagonist, the Time Lord known as the Doctor. Their famous catchphrase is "Exterminate!", with each syllable individually synthesised in a frantic electronic voice."

But my reason for hating the Dalek is not because they destroyed my entire species, except for me. It's because I tried to crochet one and the damn thing nearly whupped my ass.

Amdowns, a seller on Etsy, created a crochet pattern for a Dalek and it can be found, for free, at her online store. I made one for a friend, by request for two of them actually.

Awwww, hell no. She's going to get one and that's it.

The front and back post crochets for the vents were killing my wrists for some reason and actually left me sore. I realize it's a shitty picture, but it's made out of that red and black yarn from my grandma and with a G sized hook. I don't have my tape measure handy, but it's about as tall as my forearm is long. So aside from being a chubby interspace killer, it's kind of tall too.

After making the limbs, I shoved red toothpicks into them to make them stiffer and finished it off with a few beads for detail.

I hate this ugly thing. I won't be making any more of them. It actually took me longer than it should have, I think, and it irritates me that I lost track of my stitch count and it ended up being chubby. But we've decided he needed a name. I told Nicole I want her to name him Mervyn, after Mervyn Pinfield, the director of 11 Doctor Who episodes between 1964 and 1965. It's such a British name and I just dig it.

But I am impressed, like the R2-D2 hat, that the creator of this pattern offered it up for free. It's amazingly detailed and very well designed.

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