Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

My friend and former co-worker, Tommie, has decided she wants to be on "The Office." I told her she'd be a natural on that show, because she wouldn't need to be a character, she could be herself and still be funny. And then it made me think about things here in our office that would make good TV fodder on that show.

I've been here for a little over a year and all of a sudden, we've had bursts of random weirdness.

When I started, I was told I couldn't have a desk so I had to share a desk with another co-worker. That wouldn't have been so bad if we worked opposite shifts of each other, but we work at the SAME TIME ON THE SAME DAYS. He had the entire desk and I was supposed to use a corner, with two desk top computers on it. I told them I could get a used desk from Craigslist. They still said no because there wasn't any money in the budget for it. I said I could get one for free. They said no again because I wouldn't be able to find a matching desk. Guess what...I found a matching desk and my husband brought it in for me. I don't think they were too happy with me at first.

I've had all kinds of things stolen from the office that I had for the patients: dolls and cookies, even candy for the volunteers.

I've been told to get certain types of things donated for the patients. I've done so and then gotten in trouble for getting them. Apparently, "Go get [fill in the blank]," means "Only keep it until we are tired of looking at it and decide they don't need it anymore." I refuse to use my own home as storage for this place, so I have to toss it all out, because they want it gone immediately. This place sucks for storage.

We've had lunches stolen from the freezer and frig. We've even had meeting luncheons where leftovers and entire plates of food were being taken out of the office before others could even eat The owner of the agency doesn't want to address that, but she "allows" other staff members to address how trifling it is, but it hasn't stopped.

We had an office Christmas party and there were gifts for the staff. I didn't know this beforehand, because it was my first Christmas here. So I didn't think too much of it when my name wasn't called to receive a gift. The owner said they had a gift for me and called my name over and over again (she didn't because I was watching the gift hand out). So, according to her, my gift was stolen and it was my fault because I left early before the gift hand out. Ummmm, no. I think you never had a gift for me. I didn't leave early because my husband and stopped by your office to tell you thank you for the party when the party was ending. She still maintains we didn't do that and it's my own fault the gift was stolen.

It's a struggle to get payroll done each time it's due and I don't know why. A lot of times, hourly staff are getting hand written checks and no direct deposit. I've found out that I didn't have dental insurance for awhile that I thought I was paying for. One nurse didn't get the medical insurance she was trying to get for her two kids, and she's a single mother. It took months for it to get started, and it wasn't a case of waiting until open enrollment. It just never got done. And I just found out that the person in charge of all this benefit stuff didn't have me and one other person set up correctly for our taxes. For me, it was my Virginia withholding.

One of our nurses recently had to have her dog put to sleep. She was an old dog, which is unfortunate. But she went around with pictures of her dead dog, laid out in a doggie casket, asking people if we wanted to see pictures of her dog. It was more like her dog's funeral! She got offended with me when I said, "No, I don't want to see pictures of your dead dog!" I will admit, that was an impolite outburst but she took me off guard.

I shouldn't be surprised by this nurse. She told me she was glad I wrecked my scooter and I shouldn't ride it anyway (but didn't ask if my leg was alright) and got mad at me for parking in the last close spot in the lot. Sorry, but we don't have motorcycle parking here, otherwise I would park somewhere else. (This area for our office doesn't really support me parking on the sidewalk like I was able to two jobs ago.) She also dug out a blackhead from a patient's back and brought it into the office because she was amazed by it's size. She wrapped it up in a paper towel and brought it in for meeting. Bleeech!

She also told me I had to pick up a dog kennel for a patient's family and take it to their house. I asked her, with what? A kennel won't fit in my Blazer. She told me I had to use my husband's truck because she already told the family I would. I told her to tell them she was wrong and she doesn't get to dictate what I drive to work and to leave my husband and his vehicle out of her plans.

One staff member works part-time and he decided to move into our office. We never know what his schedule will be, but when he first started, he was sleeping at any desk he could find.

Another one of our nurses has lost her shit a few times with the staff members here, and a few weeks ago, lost it on her supervisor and quit. That same day, she started calling her patients, to let them know she wouldn't be seeing them again because she had been fired. We found out about this when the patients started calling into the office to ask who would be seeing them.

Then, a few days later, she started some kind of weird campaign to get rehired. She was here more often when she wasn't working here than she was when she was working here. When dying patients are calling into the office to say they don't want her back, they want a different nurse, shouldn't that say something to management about her as an employee and representative of the agency? Unfortunately, it worked and she got her job back.

Another nurse of ours, who just happens to be white, called into the office on Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday this year, three times to talk to the three staff members in the office who just happens to be black. She told them she was sorry they had to work on THEIR HOLIDAY while she was out having a good time with her son, also white, at the local parade and speeches. To make up for that apparent racial bias, she offered to bring each woman a dozen doughnuts the next day. When word of this got around, the Human Resources staff members were shocked. One of them laughed so hard that she cried. Yeah, because a dozen assorted doughnuts can alleviate the problems of the past with attaining equal rights.

We had a local pastor as a staff member who wasn't making patient visits but kept claiming he was. Of course, there wasn't any paperwork to support these supposed visits. He decided to quit before he could be fired. He called up on payday and asked where his last paycheck was! He didn't seem to understand that if you aren't making visits, there's no paycheck. And it had been verified by our patients and families that he wasn't coming to see them. Guess what...I found out today he wants his job back. If the drama queen got her job back, I think he will too.

You can't make this stuff up.

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