Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Random Dumbness

This is an actual conversation I had with my sister last night (she's five years younger than me). We were sitting in the kitchen with my mom, getting ready to break the wishbone from the turkey my mom made. We had an early Christmas while at home.

Lissy: Now listen up, we have to wish for the same thing, because I really need my wish to come true. (She was standing next to me, looking dead ass serious, like she was holding the wishbone hostage, clutched tightly in her hand, out of my reach.)
Me: (I was sitting at the kitchen table.) Oh hell no, I want a chance at my wish. Gimme! (I reached for the wishbone before she had a chance to complain.)

We crack the wishbone. I got the bigger half and should have won my wish.

Lissy: God damn it, what did you wish for? I wanted to wish that Lilly would get better! (Lissy had recently got a new kitten named Lilly, that appeared to have had a stroke because she started dragging one of her hind legs.)
Amy: A new job.
Lissy: What? (Kind of pissed off.)
Amy: Look, I'm gonna kill someone at work eventually, so I need all the help I can get to get the hell out of there!

My mom was leaning up against the kitchen counter, listening to all of this. She started to fake indignation.

Mom: What the hell, did I raise a bunch of selfish dorks?

We both look at her.

Me and Lissy together: What?

Mom: (Gesturing at herself.) What about me? ONE of you couldn't wish for my cancer to go away???

The three of us actually laughed and laughed over it.

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