Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Update on Dixie

Dixie is doing so much better! According to our scale, the girlie is up to six pounds! In celebration of how much and how well she's eating...another "remake"/parody/whatever of Sir Mix A Lot's, "I Like Big Butts." (I did a zombie version back in 2010.)


*talking*
Oh my god
Amy, look at her butt
Its so big
She looks like one of Garfield’s girlfriends
Who understands those fat cats
They only talk to her because she looks like a total couch potato.
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's fluffy
Look, she's just so FUZZY!

*rap*
I like fat cats and I can not lie
You other owners can't deny
That when a cat walks in with an chubby little tum
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna grab that girl
Cuz you notice that bum was plump
Deep in the collar she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, kitty I wanna pet ya
And take your picture
My vet tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make Me so happy
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You wanna jump in my bed
Well use me, use me, cuz you aint that average kitty

I've seen her eatin'
Kitty toys take a beatin’
She's sweet, meek, cat nip  makes her go ‘eek’

I'm tired of vet techs
Saying thin cats are the thing
Take the average cat owner and ask her that,
She gotta pack much back

So owners (yeah) owners (yeah)
Has your catfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Kitty got back

(Cat Fancy face with Garfield booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm playin’ with kitty
I just can't help myself
I'm chasin’ that animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And feed, double up, feed-feed
I aint talkin bout kitty porn
Cuz pussy parts were made for boys
I wannem real thick and fuzzy
So find them chubby buns
Amy Lynn’s in trouble
Beggin for her to eat them Friskies

So I'm lookin' at LOLcat videos
Showin’ those kitties walkin like Maru
You can share them kitties
I'll keep my cat like Grumpy Cat.

A word to the thick furred kitties
I wanna pet ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --
Til the break of dawn
Dixie’s got it goin on
A lot of vets won't like this song
Cuz they like to weigh it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I’ve got string and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the action on

So kitties (yeah), kitties (yeah)
Do you wanna roll in my ‘nip (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even doggies got to shout
Kitty’s got back

(Cat Fancy face with Garfield booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to kitties
Cat Fancy ain't got nothin to do with my selection
One foot tall and only seven pounds?
Only if she's a kitten.

So your catlfriend throws a hairball
Playin grooming tapes by Ferminator
But hairless cats ain't got a motor in the back of their rumps.
My hand don't want to pet ribs and joints because they feel like bumps.

You can run throughout the house, but please don't lose that butt
Some owners wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss out the wet food and treats
But I find the kitty that needs to eats.

So the vet says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waist is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout pettin’
To the scrawny cats in the waiting room
You aint it miss thing
Give me a chubby kitty I can't resist her
Wet food and treats didn’t miss her.

Some knucklehead owner tried to dis
Cuz his cats were on my list
He was lame and he chose to starve 'em
And I pulled up quick to feed 'em
So kitties if the butt is round
And you wanna triple food throw down
Dial 1-900-AMYLYNN and kick them skinny thoughts

Kitty’s got back
Kitty’s got back
Little in tha middle but she got much back
Little in tha middle but she got much back
Little in tha middle but she got much back
Little in tha middle but she got much back

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