Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Having Some Brighter Days?

Earlier this month, I started a new job finally and was able to leave the hospice behind. I started a job as an office manager for n HVAC place (I'm still working at the arts and crafts store on the weekends) and really had been looking forward to the new job. A brand new environment, new tasks, new people, New Year...why wouldn't it be good?

The plus side is that I'm no longer dealing with death and people who are terminally ill.

The downside is that on the second day at the new job, it became a hostile environment by the business owner, although not towards me. It's towards the ONLY OTHER CO-WORKER THAT I  HAVE. (I was lied to about how big this company is.) I just hate hearing someone being bashed like that, especially to me, when I don't know that person all that well. it's extremely uncomfortable. I feel like I went from the frying pan into the fire. 

This guy has unrealistic expectations for what I can do. He doesn't want to pay for Hoot Suite, so he wants ME to write him a program that does the same thing, so he can have it for free. If you have to do Twitter and Facebook separately, it takes too long, doncha know. 


There's nothing about my resume that should lead a person to think I can write programs or create software. He has brought it up a few times. I figure if I've told him I don't know how to do that, just once, that should be enough. He just laughs and tells me, "You'll do it."

I need to get the hell out of there. I walked into the Twilight Zone again. I've also found out he has a habit of letting his office managers go. I don't think this was a case of not looking before I leapt...this guy and I started talking in September and I put him off. I looked him up online the best I could, before meeting him. He was completely normal and nice, until that second day when he let his freak flag start to fly.

I keep having to remind myself there's no more death here, and that's what I'm hanging onto right now.

I finally had a decent day yesterday, after spending four or so dark days here. I kept thinking about my mom, almost obsessing over her being gone, even dreaming about her. There were plenty of nights where I just sat and cried. I don't know where this is coming from, but last night was at least tear-free.

I decided I need to dig out one her many recipes that I brought back with me. When I decided what I wanted to make, that's about when I started having rough nights, so maybe that was why. But anyway, I've made two batches of freezer pickles from the recipe Mom had.

I always thought this was a recipe that she got from my paternal grandma, but I was wrong. This actually came from a woman named Ardel that lived in Missouri. Her husband, Roger, was a farmer, I believe, in Unionville, MS. Roger would allow deer hunters to come hunt on his land. My father was one of them. In time, he became friends with Roger and Ardel, and they'd let him come stay in their very large home with his friends for their annual deer trips. We went down there as a family once when I was in eighth grade. I think both Roger and Ardel are both gone now.
  • 2 qts of cucumbers, sliced thin (I left the peel on)
  • 1 large onion (optional), sliced thin (I left this out)
  • Bell pepper strips (optional), julienned (I did add these, in red, yellow and green)
  • 2 tablespoons of salt
  • 1 1/2 cup of sugar
  • 1/2 cup of vinegar (I used a lot more than this, because according to Mom, you need to cover the cucumbers and peppers with the vinegar.)
  • 1 tablespoon of mustard seed
Put the cucumbers, onion and peppers in a large glass bowl. Sprinkle on the salt and toss well with your hands. Let stand for 2 hours (I kept it in the frig), turning every 20 minutes. Rinse with cold water and drain well. Add the sugar and toss again. Let stand until the sugar is dissolved. You don't need to stick back in the frig for this because the sugar is going to dissolve very quickly. Add the vinegar and mustard seed, and then freeze.

There wasn't any directions as to how long you should keep them in the freezer before eating them, after taking them out to thaw, of course. Mom said her secret (because her freezer pickles always turned out better than Grandma's) was to let them sit in the vinegar for longer than any recipe says. Grandma didn't let her's sit very long. But I've read they can stay fresh in the freezer for up to a year.

I had some freezer pickles when I was back home last. As I was making mine, I caught a whiff of them after I'd had them sitting in the frig, waiting for more vinegar, before they went into the freezer. I know I'm on the right track with making these, because somehow, they smelled just like the ones Mom had made last. :) It was like a weird smell of home (but they don't smell like regular store bought dill pickles).


  1. Congrats on your new job but I am sorry it isn't starting out so great. I hope things improve for you.

  2. Thanks! Aside from the worry I'm going to screw up his finances, at least I know I'm keeping track of every piece of paper that comes into that joint. I guess if things get too far gone, there will be a paper trail to follow! :)