Thursday, February 19, 2015

I Think I Had A Good Day Today

This week, I've been off from work for two snow days, because we've been hit with a really weird/abnormal winter storm. This is a part of the country that doesn't see freezing ice and wind chills in the single digits. I heard one of our local weathermen say on the evening broadcast that we're probably going to break a temperature low that hasn't been seen in about 100 years.

"It’s not often you see warmer temperatures in Montana, Wyoming, or Alaska in the winter."


Anyway, I was getting ready for work this morning finally, and I was dressed in layers. I haven't been hibernating or anything. In fact, I've been out on the road each day we were "working from home," so I knew what to expect on the roads. Chunky ice, slick in spots, frozen hard snow. And I started to over pack the car, just in case.

That was the phrase running through my head today...just in case. Just in case of what, I didn't know.

Since Mom passed, I've become a nervous traveler for some reason, I over pack for everything now. I think my thought process is this: prepare for anything and I'll be fine, no matter what. You should have seen how much shit I had in the car when we went to the Safari Park last summer. I hid it all in the hatch so my friends didn't see. 

It doesn't bother my husband but it bothers me. He did ask me once why I was asking so many questions and making so many suggestions when he was packing his motorcycle and our trailer for the first trip we made back home since Mom passed. His comment was, "That's a new thing." It was like I had verbal diarrhea and I couldn't stop. I admitted as much and told him I couldn't help it, that I wasn't second guessing him or anything like that. I told him I didn't like what I was doing and I was really going to work on it during the trip. (I tried keeping my nervous mouth shut more on that trip and think I did a decent job of it. That was the start of me trying a little bit to get myself under control.)

Anyway, I live about 19 miles away from work, and no where am I driving through a bad neighborhood or out in the sticks (like I did when I worked for the HVAC company...that truly was out in the country!). As I as just about done gathering my "supplies" to keep in the car, just in case I hit a slick spot, get stuck, have an accident, can't leave the office because of the road conditions, and on and on and on, I stopped. I started looking around and realized, in stages, that each thing I had set aside to pack was unneeded and my nervousness has to get back under fucking control. I was going to be at work for less than seven hours because we were opening late today,

I put it all back, except for my lunch and my purse. I was proud of myself. It's a minor thing, but I feel like I took some control back of my life. My over packing hasn't been an all encompassing, taking over my life kind of thing, but it's a nuisance to hear that little nagging voice in the back of my head suggest more shit to throw into my car, just in case, but what if...

I think I'm starting to really silence that little asshole voice finally.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Finished My Spider-Man Hat

The pins are from where I'm just about done sewing on the right eye.

Doesn't every adult Spider-Man fan need her own bug-eyed beanie? Especially when it's about 10 degrees outside?

I've always waned to see Spidey with big curved lenses, as opposed to the more angular ones he normally has. I'd have to say my lenses/eyes here were inspired by  Erik Larsen's work as an artist as Spidey's artist, post-Todd McFarlane. And I always did like that little "pinch" of black in the inner corners of the lenses.

With the construction of this hat, I've decided for the next one I make for myself, I need to make it a little smaller for around my head, but make the pieces longer so the brim in a little thinner.